Thank you deviant art. y'all have been my catharsis for about 2 years now. and now its time to say goodbye. i doubt anyone will read this journal entry (i know i never would) but i would still like to write it. one of the people whom i watch on dA has a signature that goes "change is the only constant thing". this is very true. it would take quite alot of time to record all the changes that i have undergone since i first started my dA membership on that day in 8th grade, so i'll adress all as briefly as i can. i am no longer poser, emo, goth, whatever the hell kinda lable ya wanna give it, and recently there have been a few strange little happenings that have helped move me along. my weird bowl was broken by a friend of mine, a bowl that i made back when i was goth/poser/emo/depressed/whatever that reflected said "mindset". this was shortly after i gave away all my "dark" clothing and shoes. a few months later, my hermit crab, Kirby, bit the dust, which was sad (as sad as having you pet hermit crab croaking can be) but also another strange harbinger for moving on. i got Kirby back when i lived in my old house, before my mother met my stepfather, when it was just the two of us. funny things like that which help me to move forward, not to forget but just to let go. i recently read through all of my journal entries from the past two years, just for the hell of it. what i read was funny, fascinating, boring, and quite a bit was just plain pathetic and whiny. some of the shit i wrote down, about being fat, and pimply and about hating myself was downright pathetic, and was embarassing to read. at the same time, not ever writing in a real journal, and using deviant art as a place to throw all my pity parties, i recorded some significant points in my life, my confusing "first love" (if you want to call it that, it sounds hokey to me), moving in to my new house, my feelings on my step-fam (which haven't changed as much as i would like them to have) and various other interesting points in my life. i suppose one of the best things about these journal entries is reading the comments, especially on the angsty, pathetic, pitiful ones. it shows exactly how amazing my friends are. no matter how petty and angsty my personality became, my friends stuck by me and that is something that i will always be grateful for. but now, my crab is dead, my bowl is broken, and deviant art is the last to go. i'll probably come back to look from time to time, hoping to see a preview for the next Wet Moon book, or hoping to see some new pictures or poems from lovedLIKEwinter or porcelainsanity, once so close, now drifting apart, as was inevitable. thank you everyone who ever put a watch on me, faved something of mine, commented, or even just looked at something i did. it means alot. goodbye deviants!